Ketchup is God's man juice
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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