i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
