I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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