Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
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My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
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Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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