From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
