Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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