this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
