people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
