That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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