Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
