How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
