Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
