Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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