nut hugger
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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