I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
