I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
