last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
