Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
