What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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