Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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