I cockslap morals
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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