Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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