We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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