your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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