Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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