I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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