Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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