He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
