She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize