Banned from zoo.
Again?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
