What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
