They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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