How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
