I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
