True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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