Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize