It was confusing and full of hummus
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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