Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
