We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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