Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I think my vagina is haunted
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize