haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
