I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
