Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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