The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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