i just google imaged poop.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
