roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
