So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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