I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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