I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
