I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
