So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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