On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize