It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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