he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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