Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Houston, we have a blender
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
