I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
