I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
