i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
