The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Found your dick twin last night
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
