I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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