goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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