Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
