oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize