FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
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we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
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I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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