Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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