I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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