you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
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Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
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